Lament

Airless love

I seek you out after 2 years without seeing you

I went to the respite house

Something told me to just go find you

 

A bearded man on a broken rocker and a slight aging woman on the porch

Told me you’d just gone to play basketball on state street

 

I found you playing alone

You’d lost a lot of weight

 

You saw me and gave me a neutral peace sign

Walked gingerly tawards the fence between us

stopped too far away, and asked me what I was doing

I told you I wanted to take you clothes shopping

You said no that’s ok and walked away

 

You remain
A muffled melody undercurrent in my blood

 

Your weathered disdain

my obtrusive innocence

when consciousness is shredded in trauma, who is guilty?